bujang terlajak?

"umur berapa?"

"dah tua dah"

"berapa?"

"*told them my age*"

"tuanya, arent you supposed to be married. 

layan husband, making kids"

"tak, belajar pun tak habis lagi nak kahwin mcm mana"

"tak payah lah study, kahwin je."

I wish I could shut their mouth, but no. I cant.

truth is other than having no one that truly interested in marrying me.
I also have already lost interest in building a new relationship.

sure, there are few guys who tend to approach me.
but it never work, 

I have reached a point in my life where ;

"boys"  no longer able to excite me.

honestly, I do miss the incredible feelings of falling in love. 

that feeling of having someone that actually cares for you. 

but that feelings aren't enough to drive me into starting a new relationship .

at this point I just want to live a happy and carefree life.
though at this very point, i'm still quite unhappy. 

but that is not because i'm old, and lonely.

that's because of something else.

something that id rather not tell. 

-

-

when I was younger, I remember that I always wish that one day I'll get married at a very young age.

so that i'll have kids early, and become a young mom. later, when im older i'll make friends with my teen kids. yadah yadah.. 

but as I grew older, i'm exposed to a whole new perspective on life. 

I finally realised that, marriage aren't meant for everyone.

some might live a happy married life.

some might struggling into it. 

some might live happily single,

some might not.

my point is, marriage isn't an accomplishment, 

if you get married, then your life is a success.

but when you don't, it is a complete waste.

no. don't let it be the measure quality of life your'e currently living. 

it takes more than that.

it takes more than marriage. 

be that old woman who truly rocks her life -e 

*i think im gonna start writing my heart out, again.*